I hope you enjoy this, it really helps to put things into perspective!
http://play.simpletruths.com/movie/the-empty-pickle-jar/store/
Monday, September 9, 2013
Saturday, May 4, 2013
A Friend's Journey With Her Autistic Child
Several days ago a friend of mine posted on Facebook about her journey with her Autistic child. With her permission I am posting her journey here for others to read and hopefully get a better understand of what some families with Autistic children go through.
So, there is so much more. And we are only three years into this journey, so mine is the perspective of a novice, but for the last day of autism awareness month, I am presenting some things of which I am now aware.
Seven things I have learned since having a child with autism:
1) The world is not kind and it is not just.
But there are many people trying to change that and when I see they are doing that FOR MY kid I am humbled. If they can do a little, sometimes a lot, for children who are not their own, I know I can keep doing more.
2) My kids are miracles.
There is nothing romantic about raising a child with a neurological disorder. But watching any child grow and learn is miraculous and that is just as true raising an autistic child as it is for a typically developing one. But attitude matters. And a disciplined attitude can change everything. If I LOOK for his success and open my ears for a new word, a different sound, a more pronounced syllable, I will begin to hear them.
3) Autistic kids are smart. And they can hear you!
He may not speak but he understands everything. And when I say everything, I mean everything. Who knows what he is paying attention to and not in any given moment; but he has the capacity to understand our words and their meanings. He gets upset when we or others speak about him instead of to him. He gets sad when he suspects we are disappointed. Respect his dignity by not underestimating his intelligence. Do that for all kids, in fact.
4) Autism is pervasive.
It isn't just that my child doesn't talk and has funny repetitive behaviors. Autism is a syndrome and as it is pervasive it impacts his entire system, including his digestion. Digestive issues and autism have a 30 percent overlap. (There are other overlaps too, most notably epilepsy). But our issue, now, is the gut. Many families choose to try experimental diets for their children to help them feel better. Be patient with these families as they navigate, with much trial and error, this new world. The are not trying to "cure" their kids with strange diets, the are trying to help their children feel better.
5) Autism is expensive.
Insurance doesn't necessarily cover much, if any, of the therapies recommended for autism. And one family may get lucky while another does not. An additional challenge for many families is the reduction in income when one parent needs to reduce or eliminate a job in order to meet the hands on needs of their special needs child. For families who do have more resources, they are quickly dedicated to supplemental services for speech, behavior, occupational and physical therapies. There are often, if not usually, medical issues possibly related to the autism diagnosis. Our children have tremendous potential to be fully integrated and participatory in society IF they receive the intervention they need. Many families you know with children on the spectrum have depleted their savings accounts and are in debt; and others just wish they had the savings to deplete to just give their child his or her best chance.
6) Not all autistic children are treated equally.
Not all autistics' needs are even recognized, let alone met. Some parents have to spend thousands of dollars on lawyers, advocates and annual testing just to get the minimum level of services required by law. Some school districts bully parents of special needs students figuring they will be worn down and stop fighting. Some districts accomplish this by hiring specialized law firms just to prevent an increase in spending by challenging each and every request for services. School districts are bullied themselves by spending watchers that single out special education budgets, and sometimes single out individual students. Whether a parent is dealing well with his or her child's diagnosis depends greatly on whether that parent has allies or adversaries in the school district. Whether he or she does is mostly a matter of luck and can be dramatically different by region, state and even town. Children whose parents don't have the money to hire a lawyer are at risk for being disregarded.
7) It's a huge job.
The day-to-day reality of parenting an autistic child is often marked by fatigue and sleep deprivation. Often it is physically difficult. Despite the daily challenges, these parents must always be looking ahead. Issues change, needs change and the medical and educational resources available to a four or five year old may be exceptional but not so great for a fourth grader. Many of our children need a "shadow" or paraprofessional long after the school district is able, willing or required to provide one. Parents must be strong to advocate for their children when things get more complex. Some of us are dealing with dual diagnoses with a child who is far behind in some areas of development but gifted in others. One challenge is to not move too fast ahead but remain realistic about the challenges we must face to advocate best for our kids. If we have the means (which not all of us do) we still must carefully do the cost-benefit analysis between saving money for future needs or front-loading our resources to intervene now.
So, there is so much more. And we are only three years into this journey, so mine is the perspective of a novice, but for the last day of autism awareness month, I am presenting some things of which I am now aware.
Seven things I have learned since having a child with autism:
1) The world is not kind and it is not just.
But there are many people trying to change that and when I see they are doing that FOR MY kid I am humbled. If they can do a little, sometimes a lot, for children who are not their own, I know I can keep doing more.
2) My kids are miracles.
There is nothing romantic about raising a child with a neurological disorder. But watching any child grow and learn is miraculous and that is just as true raising an autistic child as it is for a typically developing one. But attitude matters. And a disciplined attitude can change everything. If I LOOK for his success and open my ears for a new word, a different sound, a more pronounced syllable, I will begin to hear them.
3) Autistic kids are smart. And they can hear you!
He may not speak but he understands everything. And when I say everything, I mean everything. Who knows what he is paying attention to and not in any given moment; but he has the capacity to understand our words and their meanings. He gets upset when we or others speak about him instead of to him. He gets sad when he suspects we are disappointed. Respect his dignity by not underestimating his intelligence. Do that for all kids, in fact.
4) Autism is pervasive.
It isn't just that my child doesn't talk and has funny repetitive behaviors. Autism is a syndrome and as it is pervasive it impacts his entire system, including his digestion. Digestive issues and autism have a 30 percent overlap. (There are other overlaps too, most notably epilepsy). But our issue, now, is the gut. Many families choose to try experimental diets for their children to help them feel better. Be patient with these families as they navigate, with much trial and error, this new world. The are not trying to "cure" their kids with strange diets, the are trying to help their children feel better.
5) Autism is expensive.
Insurance doesn't necessarily cover much, if any, of the therapies recommended for autism. And one family may get lucky while another does not. An additional challenge for many families is the reduction in income when one parent needs to reduce or eliminate a job in order to meet the hands on needs of their special needs child. For families who do have more resources, they are quickly dedicated to supplemental services for speech, behavior, occupational and physical therapies. There are often, if not usually, medical issues possibly related to the autism diagnosis. Our children have tremendous potential to be fully integrated and participatory in society IF they receive the intervention they need. Many families you know with children on the spectrum have depleted their savings accounts and are in debt; and others just wish they had the savings to deplete to just give their child his or her best chance.
6) Not all autistic children are treated equally.
Not all autistics' needs are even recognized, let alone met. Some parents have to spend thousands of dollars on lawyers, advocates and annual testing just to get the minimum level of services required by law. Some school districts bully parents of special needs students figuring they will be worn down and stop fighting. Some districts accomplish this by hiring specialized law firms just to prevent an increase in spending by challenging each and every request for services. School districts are bullied themselves by spending watchers that single out special education budgets, and sometimes single out individual students. Whether a parent is dealing well with his or her child's diagnosis depends greatly on whether that parent has allies or adversaries in the school district. Whether he or she does is mostly a matter of luck and can be dramatically different by region, state and even town. Children whose parents don't have the money to hire a lawyer are at risk for being disregarded.
7) It's a huge job.
The day-to-day reality of parenting an autistic child is often marked by fatigue and sleep deprivation. Often it is physically difficult. Despite the daily challenges, these parents must always be looking ahead. Issues change, needs change and the medical and educational resources available to a four or five year old may be exceptional but not so great for a fourth grader. Many of our children need a "shadow" or paraprofessional long after the school district is able, willing or required to provide one. Parents must be strong to advocate for their children when things get more complex. Some of us are dealing with dual diagnoses with a child who is far behind in some areas of development but gifted in others. One challenge is to not move too fast ahead but remain realistic about the challenges we must face to advocate best for our kids. If we have the means (which not all of us do) we still must carefully do the cost-benefit analysis between saving money for future needs or front-loading our resources to intervene now.
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Bullying Is No Laughing Matter
As a parent of a child who is dealing with being bullied perhaps I am just a little to sensitive. Today while I was waiting for my children in front of their school, several kids came out of school laughing and joking around, they looked like they were having a great time. Then I heard one of the kids say (while laughing) "I'm being bullied". This child's friends responded by grabbing this child and laughing, saying that if said child didn't give them their lunch money then they were going to beat said child up. There were several comments just like this and lots of laughing going on. My heart broke when I saw them playing this way.
Unfortunately bullying has become a normal sight at schools today. Children who are bullied go through so many things, some even end up taking their own lives. As a result of being bullied I know that my child has developed a sense of loneliness and feeling of just not being good enough, his stress induced tic has come back, and his grades have dropped. These are all things that we as a family have to deal with everyday, which is not an easy task.
I know that the children on the school yard were only trying to have fun, but I just hope that they never have to deal with being bullied for real. I would encourage every parent to talk with their child about being bullied and what it means. I would also stress to parents to talk with their children about what to do it they know someone is being bullied. Bullying can be stopped if the adults and leaders know that it is going on.
Unfortunately bullying has become a normal sight at schools today. Children who are bullied go through so many things, some even end up taking their own lives. As a result of being bullied I know that my child has developed a sense of loneliness and feeling of just not being good enough, his stress induced tic has come back, and his grades have dropped. These are all things that we as a family have to deal with everyday, which is not an easy task.
I know that the children on the school yard were only trying to have fun, but I just hope that they never have to deal with being bullied for real. I would encourage every parent to talk with their child about being bullied and what it means. I would also stress to parents to talk with their children about what to do it they know someone is being bullied. Bullying can be stopped if the adults and leaders know that it is going on.
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Giving Up High Fructose Corn Syrup
Over the summer I read some information about HFCS (High Fructose Corn Syrup) and decided that we should stop eating anything with this product. That was harder than I thought it was going to be. I lasted about a month and then stopped reading labels, mostly because I got too busy and didn't feel like I had the time to spend reading labels at the store and I felt like I wasn't getting the support at home with this change. This past week my husband read the same information that I had and suggested that we should stop eating the products made with HFCS. Great Idea! Now that he is on board with this concept we are putting it into full swing. This is not going to be an easy change for us but it will be a great change.
The first step for us is to rid our home of the products that are made with HFCS. I am not going to throw out these products, however we are going to use up the products that we currently have in the house and then replace them with HFCS Free products. As a part of this challenge I will not be buying anything at the grocery store unless it is fresh produce and dairy products. The idea behind this is to eat everything that is currently in our pantry and freezers. This is going to be an interesting challenge.
I plan to take an inventory of what we have in the house that needs to be used up and come up with some menu ideas for these items. Check back in a couple of days for my inventory and menu ideas.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Heading Back To School
After much consideration I have decided that I should go back to school and get my Early Childhood Education degree (I have only been teaching preschool for four years). I have not been in school since graduating from Wright State University in 1997, this was going to be a challenge. I originally wanted to go back and get my Master's degree in Education, however the university I wanted to attend informed me that because my degree is in Social Work and not Education that I would need to go back to get another Bachelor's degree in Education then I could continue on with the Master's program. It seems that this university does not offer a Master's level degree for first time licensure teacher's. UGH, I didn't want to quit my job to go back to school full time for the next 6 years!
I looked at all my options for the career path that I want to take. It turns out that to eventually become a Director of a Preschool I need to have at least an Associates Degree in Early Childhood Education. That is only a two year degree and I can complete it on a part-time basis. So I enrolled at Sinclair Community College and today was my first day back in a classroom as a student since 1997.
In one of my classes the professor had us pair up and learn about another student and then introduce them to the class. This was a great way to meet another person in the class, especially since we would most likely be in many of the classes together. As the students are introducing each other one of them comments that her partner graduated from high school in 2008, the other student corrected her saying that she actually graduated in 2003 and she wished she was that young. Um hello, I must be ancient having graduated from high school in the 90's. Listening to everyone it was clear that I am the oldest in the class, I have the most kids, I have the oldest kids in the class and I have been married for the longest time without ever being divorced. I am even older than the Professor. I hope I can keep up with all these young people.
I looked at all my options for the career path that I want to take. It turns out that to eventually become a Director of a Preschool I need to have at least an Associates Degree in Early Childhood Education. That is only a two year degree and I can complete it on a part-time basis. So I enrolled at Sinclair Community College and today was my first day back in a classroom as a student since 1997.
In one of my classes the professor had us pair up and learn about another student and then introduce them to the class. This was a great way to meet another person in the class, especially since we would most likely be in many of the classes together. As the students are introducing each other one of them comments that her partner graduated from high school in 2008, the other student corrected her saying that she actually graduated in 2003 and she wished she was that young. Um hello, I must be ancient having graduated from high school in the 90's. Listening to everyone it was clear that I am the oldest in the class, I have the most kids, I have the oldest kids in the class and I have been married for the longest time without ever being divorced. I am even older than the Professor. I hope I can keep up with all these young people.
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